6th November 2015 by AlisonRoberts Communication, Connecting 0 Are you Socially Intelligent? I’ve been reading a book called Social Intelligence by the author of Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman. It accounts for some of the effects we all experience as we tune in to other people such as empathic resonance and the concept of japanese amae; “feeling felt”. Why is this important? According to Goleman, our level of social intelligence determines our success not just as Leaders, but in all our relationships and social interactions – and the sense of fulfillment we derive from them. In it he talks about the ‘high road’ of the thinking mind and the ‘low road’ of the emotional, quick to react side of us that makes snap (and often correct) decisions about people and situations. He says “the low road, with its ultrarapid mirror neuron links, operates as a sort of sixth sense, prompting us to feel with another person, even though we may be only vaguely aware of our attunement.” Does this account for our ability to enter a room and immediately sense the atmosphere? Are our “spindle cells responsible for the secret of the speed of social intuition?” Is our ability to approach someone and know that they are sad, even when they it hide behind a mask, something that can be honed, or does realising we do it simply make the process conscious when we need it to be? Are these “always-on” neural pathways responsible for our ability to read people and situations with such incredible accuracy? And is it simply a survival instinct, built into us from the very beginning? One of the ways I help clients tune in better to other people is by listening with a completely blank mind. This makes you completely receptive to how your body is responding. This takes you out of your head and means you get the true meaning of the message loud and clear, not distorted by your emotions, thoughts, judgements and assumptions. It seems to me that biology and self-awareness are working together on this, creating a deeper connection, and a more complete form of communication. If you’re interested in learning how to become a more charismatic and inspirational leader, get better at relationships and communicate more powerfully, contact me. I’d love to hear your comments, below. You can also claim your free Audio by signing up to my blog (also below). You’ll notice an immediate improvement in the way you listen.